Complementation

Dec 15, 2021

When two things are placed side by side, studies have shown, we tend to rank one as better than the other.  Sometimes the ranking is completely subjective and arbitrary: in the case of colours, for example, red and green, some might rank red as being better than green while others may do the opposite.  We can identify odd and even numbers, and, for me, even numbers are better than odd numbers.  In fact, we have taken the word, “odd,” from the realm of numerology and have applied it to people.  Odd has a negative connotation, but oddly, 500 years ago, to be odd was a compliment, for nonconformity was seen as a positive attribute.  That changed around 300 years ago when odd became more negative to refer to someone as peculiar or eccentric.  If I lived 500 years ago, I would have preferred odd numbers to even numbers, but I am influenced by the culture, and even numbers are better, at least in my mind.

The study of this phenomenon (ranking one thing over another if there are only two things) might seem rather pointless, but there is a real-world application.  Today, partly because of the powerful influence of the media, we are often presented with two things in a list.  For example, with race, we tend to think in terms of black and white.  Or, as we experience nowadays, we are categorized as either vaccinated or unvaccinated.  While some propose that there are many genders, we still think strongly in terms of men and women.  After presenting us with a list of two (black/white, man/woman, vaccinated/unvaccinated), the media, perhaps even subconsciously, invites us to rank one over the other.  Thus, while we might not want to be racist, we who live in a homogeneously white area of Canada tend to think that white skin is better than black skin and that white people are more trustworthy and honest.  (It’s not true, by the way.) Or, depending on what side of the fence you sit on, we are invited to think of those who are vaccinated as being better people because they “care for their community,” or, if you are on the other side of the fence, you might think that those who are unvaccinated are better because they are resisting the pressure put on them.  Certainly, in our cultural climate, men and women have been pitted against each other.  The media likes to pit men against women and women against men, inviting us to be at odds with each other. 

In an article I read a few days ago, the author talked about this problem and noted that when we think in terms of two, we tend to create artificial differences that lead us to rank whatever is in the list, moving them to become opposites.  He proposed that we should think in terms things being complementary.  Instead of seeing men and women as being opposites working against each other, we ought to see how we can complement the other.  (Complement means “to make fuller or better.”)  People do have different colours of skin, and the colour of our skin might say a lot about our personal histories, but instead of seeing the differences as a problem, we should be looking for the unique perspectives and gifts each can bring to the table.  The tremendous rift being created by the media (and by our conversations) between the vaccinated and unvaccinated is dividing families, churches, and communities.  We tend to go to the extreme, one way or the other, and it seems to be that we are being invited to become each other’s enemies by the media.  But we can complement each other: the unvaccinated can listen to those who chose to be vaccinated, hear and appreciate their perspective that they did so for the betterment of the community, while the vaccinated can listen to those who express concerns regarding the coercion tactics of those in power and the relatively untested nature of the vaccines.  Instead of seeing each other as opposites, we ought to see each other as bringing something important to the table.  We may be different, and we may disagree, but we have to get over this terrible situation where we rank one over the other, making everyone seem the opposite of the other.

The author of the article I was reading proposed an excellent solution to the problem.  Instead of seeing everything as a list of two that we tend to make artificially opposite, we need to add a third to the list: God. In a list of two, “you and I” rapidly becomes “you or I.”  It is more difficult to do that when we add God to the list.  Instead of seeing two things at the opposite ends of a line, placing God in the picture enables us to see things in a form of a triangle.  Thus, I cannot see you without also seeing God, and you cannot see me without taking God into account.  Seeing you with God means that I must say, “God and you.”  If I wish to separate from you, then I must also separate myself from God, for I cannot say “You or I” without disconnecting at least one of us from God.  Having God in the equation moves us to say, “God and you and I.” 

Studies have shown that when there are two things in a list, our tendency is to rank one above the other.  It is not possible to do that with three.  Perhaps the problem with our world is not that some are vaccinated, and some are not, some are women and some are not, or some are black and some are not. The problem is that God has been removed from the picture.  If we give him his proper place, the dividedness that increasingly is drawing lines between us goes away, for, when, through Jesus Christ, God invites himself into our lives, we become community.

Pastor Gary