From the Pastor's Study
From the Pastor’s Study
Forgetting for the Sake of Peace
April 26, 2023
In Genesis 37 we find the story of Joseph and his brothers. Their father, Jacob, had given Joseph an ornate coat, indicating that he felt that Joseph, the son of his beloved wife, Rachel, should have the place of the firstborn. (Judah, the fourth son of Leah held that position.) Joseph’s brothers, responding to their father’s misplaced favouritism, could not speak a kind word to him (v. 4). The Hebrew says that they could not speak in peace (shalom) to him. If we would have been there, we would have seen the brothers turning away from Joseph with anger on their faces every time he spoke. We can sense the rage building up in them as Joseph told them his dreams, dreams in which they too recognize tell of his future pre-eminence among them. Their resentment toward Joseph resulted in their selling him as a slave to passing caravanners. Later, when they met Joseph who has become ruler of Egypt, they were terrified of him, fully knowing that Joseph could kill them all and no one would call him to account. Joseph offered reconciliation, but that reconciliation was not complete, for after Jacob died, the eleven brothers told their powerful younger brother that their father had told him to forgive them for the wrongs they had done when they mistreated Joseph many years earlier. Whether or not Jacob had actually issued this command for Joseph to forgive his brothers we do not know, but we do sense that the brothers felt some discord between themselves and Joseph. This lack of peace continued through the centuries and is highlighted with the descendants of Joseph (led by Ephraim, Joseph’s son) separating themselves from Judah’s descendants, creating two nations, known in the time of 2 Kings as Israel (sometimes called Ephraim) and Judah. We could say that these factions of God’s people were never really at peace although there was not always war between them.
As we consider this story, we get a sense that peace is something that does not come easily. Even had the older brothers left Joseph alone and had not sold him as a slave, they would not have been at peace with him. It is also important to note that peace is not just a state of mind. While Joseph may have accepted the fact that God had been at work in his life, using his difficult circumstances for good, namely, to save his family, and while Joseph may not have held his brother’s bad behaviour against them, there was no true peace in the family. Below the surface were emotions that could quickly spill over.
Peace is difficult to accomplish. In the Mideast, a number of nations have sought to bring peace between Arabs and Israelis through peace talks, and if the talks accomplish anything at all, the brokered peace does not last. Memories of bloodshed and violence remain, often beyond the generation that experienced them. As another example, memories of violence perpetrated by Christians against Muslims more than 1000 years ago during the time of the crusades (a truly horrific example of acts done in the name of Christ that do not reflect Christ’s command to love others) continue to boil to the surface, making peace nearly impossible to achieve. We hope and pray for an end to hostilities in Ukraine, but even should fighting stop, memories of pain and suffering will remain for generations. A few harmful and careless words spoken by a husband to his wife may never be forgotten, and if the marriage survives, it may not be an easy one.
Yet although peace is difficult to accomplish, but it is possible. Two things are needed: forgiveness and forgetfulness. In Jeremiah 31:34 (quoted in Hebrews 8:12), God says of his people, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sin no more.” If peace is to be accomplished, first the one who has been wronged needs to forgive the one who wronged him. They must not hold it against them any longer. But that is not enough. There must also be intentional forgetfulness. Most of us have been blessed with the ability to remember, something that is helpful most times, but when we are wronged, it is not helpful at all. When we remember a wrong, it becomes necessary to forgive again, perhaps many times over. Forgiveness becomes a process as we learn to forget. Most of us have difficulty forgetting and, thus, we tend to never fully forgive. Thankfully God seems to have a much greater ability to “forget” permanently.
There is, perhaps, another way to truly forgive, and that is to fill our memories with something else. If we remember that we ourselves are forgiven, and if that thought remains front and centre and if we remember how much God has forgiven us, then, as we occupy our minds with this kind of thought, we may be able to block the memories of the wrongs done to us. If we keep before our eyes the fact that God has forgiven and “forgotten” our sins, and if we remember how much we have wronged him (in comparison to how much others have wronged us), we will be more likely to forgive others to the point of being forgetful. If we fill our memories of God’s forgiveness for us, we will push out memories of the wrongs that have been done to us.
The animosity between Joseph and his brothers continued for centuries, but eventually it ceased. Both the northern kingdom of Israel and the southern kingdom of Judah were exiled because of their sin. Following their return (a few from the northern kingdom did return to Israel), we do not hear record of the earlier animosity. Instead, the descendants of Jacob, for the first time seem to be able to get along to the point that one woman, from the tribe of Asher, Anna, welcomed Jesus and celebrated his arrival on this earth shortly after he was born. In Christ animosity ceases because of how much we have been forgiven in Jesus Christ.
Paul speaks of this as well in his letter to the Ephesians when he talks about Jesus breaking down the dividing wall of hostility (2:14) and brought two antagonistic groups (Jews and Gentiles) into one church through Jesus Christ who became our peace. If we remember what we have been forgiven and what that forgiveness cost, chances are we will not only be able to forgive but also, like God be able to forget as well. Then we will have peace.
Pastor Gary
